Sunday, December 6, 2009

Masta Degreee

Oh hey Blogger. So I haven't updated you in a while. You've sort of been replaced by my Tumblr account(s). Yeeeeeahhh... sorry 'bout that. I'm now addicted to that site like I'm addicted to crack and 10 dollar whores. I have a problem. I need help. In the meantime, here's a little mini-update for ya...

I'm applying to grad schools. I've decided that getting my Master's is the right step for me right now. In an economy as shitty as the one we're currently in, it' s just a good time to be a student. And I need something to force me to act on consistent basis. When you're a starving artist, its kind of hard to act when you can't go to class or workshops because you're flat effing broke. Such is my dilemma... But when you're in an MFA program you kinda have to act. Like every day. Which is exactly what I want. For various reasons I've narrowed it down to Yale School of Drama, USC and The Old Globe/USD. Apps are coming along nicely, although I have a lot of work to do as far as monologues are concerned. And there's the fact that my MacBook didn't come with any decent word processing program, forcing me to use that prehistoric piece of shit PC of mine for personal statement/resume. Click icon - wait 20 minutes while hour glass spins - use program that you tried to open 20 minutes ago. I'm gonna go "Office Space" on that thing pretty soon. What was I talking about? Oh yeah.. grad school apps. Exciting stuff, man. We'll see what happens.

Also, there comes a time in every struggling actor's life when he or she must become a barista. It appears that time may be just around the corner for me. And now for your enjoyment, here's my personal statement for Yale:

James Dean once said, "being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. You are all alone with your concentration and imagination, and that's all you have." After having spent the past year and a half living the life of the prototypical "starving artist" in Los Angeles, I sometimes wonder if any truer words in regard to acting have ever been muttered. Being an actor can be very lonely indeed. Soon after graduating from UC San Diego and relocating to the big city to pursue my dream, I was forced to come to terms with and embrace the fact that I had chosen to pursue a field that requires you to give all of yourself all of the time and, in turn, gives back little.

As a starving actor in Los Angeles there are certain experiences one is bound to confront, in some form or another. Undoubtedly one will become humbled by the fact that, while once the shining star of the theatre department in high school and/or college, he or she is now a dime a dozen - competing against hordes of other actors of the same "type" and ability. One will also surely experience the incessant frustration of seeing that audition that he thought went so well go for naught - often times watching the part go to someone with less technique, but a more marketable "look." Finally, one will almost certainly become discouraged at the sight of several friends, once passionate thespians, abandon hope in the industry and enroll in law school, much to the delight of their parents.

The inevitable question then arises: "why on earth would one subject himself to a life so painfully unrewarding?" The answer to that question varies from actor to actor, but for myself the answer lies in the latter part of Mr. Dean's quotation. Inside every actor there exists an imagination - an insatiable thirst for discovery in the art. For me, the excitement and challenge of interpreting life and bringing truth to a performance succeed in fulfilling those parts of me where the business side of acting does not. My desire to explore and develop my craft outweighs any lust for fame or bitterness towards an often cruel industry.

One important thing I've observed in Hollywood is the congruence of an actor's passion for the art and the longevity of his or her career. While nearly anyone in LA with a pretty face and an appetite for glamour and status is capable of having a flash-in-the-pan career, those who express a dedication to studying the craft and constantly bettering themselves as artists are bound for great things. These are the actors who may or may not be blessed with that quintessential Hollywood "look," but are fueled by an unyielding devotion to the art. These actors such as Paul Giamatti, John Turturro, Liev Schreiber and Meryl Streep, and these are the actors I most admire.

Of course, besides their talent and success on stage and screen, all of the aforementioned artists have one thing in common; they are all graduates of the Yale School of Drama. I've been very fortunate to have some outstanding drama instructors both in San Diego and here in Los Angeles. However, I feel the intensive study I need to take me to the next level as an actor and in my career lies in a top-caliber conservatory acting program such as Yale's. I look forward to surrounding myself with some of the nation's most creative minds, making discoveries and breaking new ground for myself as an artist.

I thank you for your consideration.


  1. uh- that was beautiful.
    what the fuck, dilly. i think you're making a sooper tough decision and it's sooper cool. i'm sorry i'm sooper tired so i keep using the same words and spelling them wrong... anyway, congratulations and i hope you get in where you want. you sure as hell deserve it.

  2. "Great post", I noted, over a year after the fact. I'm almost as consistent at reading blogs as I am at writing them. In any event, I can relate to a lot of what you were going through at the time, and what you surely continue to go through now. As an on-again-off-again performer for years, I know the desire to work on the craft never goes away, in spite of all the struggles. It may lay dormant at times, but it never goes away. And I totally agree with you about the key to longevity being related to passion vs. a pretty face. Now I'll stop... before my comment is as long as your post. Fight On!