Emili-NO!

As a young(er) man, a few exceedingly kind people told me that I reminded them of my idol James Dean. Needless to say, this comparison was exceptionally flattering, albeit almost laughable in it's inaccuracy. However, at some point between 21 and the ripe-old age of 25 it appears something occured that significantly distorted my features - My guess would be the Chargers' heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, spirit-crushing 2007 playoff loss to the New England Patriots, which caused my jaw to unhinge and drop to the floor, my eyes to pop out of their sockets, and several veins in my forehead to bulge uncontrollably for a number of hours...

In any case, despite the fact those all-too-kind references to Dean's image have stopped in recent years, the celebrity comparisons have not ceased altogether. No no, now those parallels are drawn to a very different icon of the silver screen. While nowadays I rarely hear any more about the Rebel Without a Cause, fortunately I get enough Coach Bombay and Andrew Clark comparisons to fill this void. That's right, apparently I look just like this guy...

..Yep. I'm the spitting image of 1980's Emilio Estevez. Hoo-ray. **said in the most unenthusiastic tone possible**

Personally, I have never seen the resemblance, but others do. In fact, just this week I've gotten "You look just like Emilio Estevez in 'The Outsiders!'" and "...when I first started going to class, I was trying to remember your name and I told Thurman 'The guy who looks like Emilio Estevez, only young and not playing hockey.'" Since I guess there's no denying it any longer, I might as well embrace my Emilio-ness. So in the spirit of embracing it (and because I just love making lists), here are the...

Top 5 Things Emilio Estevez and I Have in Common (besides our unmistakable likeness):

1. I am an actor who currently makes no money acting; Emilio Estevez is an actor who currently makes no money acting.

2. Emilio Estevez is 5'5" tall; I was once 5'5" tall... when I was 12 years old.

3. Emilio Estevez's younger brother stars on the show Two and a Half Men every week on ABC; my younger brother smokes two and a half joints every day at UCSC.

4. Emilio Estevez has a mother named Janet who is credited as a producer for the movie Beverly Hills Brats; I have a friend named Janet who has probably never seen the movie Beverly Hills Brats.

5. Emilio Estevez worked with a crazy motherf*cker named Tom Cruise in the movie The Outsiders; I worked with a crazy motherf*cker named Stephen Baldwin in the movie To the Wall.

There ya have it - we're one in the same...

..."I was like, 'EMILIO!!!'"